This morning, I am contemplating the interplay of the cards in the November portion of the Year-Ahead reading I received. The closing of October was reminiscent of the 10 of Pentacles. The Elder, my mother, attended a dinner because I was visiting family on the west coast. Like the cards, three generations sat at the table. After we took her home, she fell. She was taken to the hospital where she stayed until her birthday on Halloween.
This was the first sword in the three that would begin November. On November 1, 2018, my mother died. I look at the warning of these cards, separate from the message given by the reader. The cards are multivalent and the symbolism can contain multiple messages. On some occasions, Spirit then piggy-backs these messages for more than one person, a type of shorthand I suppose. I feel that this happened during the reading.
In hindsight, the cards clearly show sorrow followed by a welcoming home. Her nightmare is over as she climbs the ladder to the higher realms, but my sorrow is just beginning. And not because she died.
I am an Aquarius. Within minutes, I processed the death and continued. People don’t understand this character trait, but this is how I roll. I didn’t post on Facebook when it happened because I like my privacy and I do not seek sympathy or empathy from anyone regarding my feelings. The majority of my contacts are learning of her passing with this post. I want you to know that I am fine. I will be traveling as soon as I get a solid date for the service so I’m not taking clients right now.
Interestingly, not one other person connected to both me and my other family members (who did post their sadness) offered any condolences to me. My “mutual friends” real and imagined did not have one word for me. Reading their sympathies for my daughter and my siblings hurt more than the loss of my mother. I have been excluded from the grieving process by acquaintances who requested my friendship yet do not care enough to ask how I’m doing.
There is still one more sword pull. I am processing my feelings of hurt right now and looking over the next three months, more changes are predicted. Later today, I will listen to the recording and consider my next steps accordingly.
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